But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
