Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize