If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
