Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
