it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
