She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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