I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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