that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize