I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize