Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
