Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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