If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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