I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
