I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
