hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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