it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
