it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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