you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
