would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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