how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
do nipples grow back?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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