how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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