Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
