he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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