had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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