So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
