Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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