People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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