perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
