So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
