she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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