Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i dont even know how to be here
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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