Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
