"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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