im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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