thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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