girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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