sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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