It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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