so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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