No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
