It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
