what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
