I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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