Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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