I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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