while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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