finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
