I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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