does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
