What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
