It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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