i just had sex bonerless
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
