OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
