those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
