Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
