how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
