Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
