I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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