So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
