my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
