just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
