sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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